Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Public Service Annoucement 2- Tribe Called Naked

Have you ever noticed that the older you get the less a guy tries to get you naked and the more he just slides out of his clothes like an eager puppy that has peed on the floor.
I realize that this is a random thought , but tonight my TV blew and there are few activities that interest me at this particular moment. I mean a minute ago I was happily investigating the eaves of my condo hoping that I could solve unexplained water feature cascading down my window, didn’t have to go to O.S.H hardware for that one.
So back to the Tribe called Naked.....the reason I say tribe is because this is a special clan if you will of men that beat you to being in their birthday suit.
It use to be, in my younger years, a conquest of sorts for the man ( I realize I am being generous with that term) to get you undressed and you feign shock at your lack of coverage. Not like anyone was putting up a fight on that one. However, somewhere along the way the tides changed, we were no longer gift to unwrap, the surprise at the bottom of cereal box. No, instead you are in the middle of a make out session and the movements he is making are not that of some new studied technique to turn you on, but and entire interpretive dance move to end up like the day he was born, naked and grinning. And all the while you are sitting there thinking to yourself " I swear he was clothed a minute ago, am I imagining that he had brown cross stitch knit skin that conveniently changes like the hyper color t-shirt I use to own as a child." Next step is not laugh, which in my case is really hard..... you are curled up on the coach or where ever trying to angle your head for best kissing vantage point, trying not to play nose swords, all the while he was using that as a diversionary tactic. I mean really, is there a special class in high school that sits guys down and says " Ok men ( snicker, sorry couldn’t resist) until the age of 25, it is your mission if you so chose it to undress the subject , after you have successfully mastered this operational maneuver you can progress to Operation It All About You, this new operative’s directive is to get naked before the subject. Make it look you have done her a huge favor and top it with a huge grin. That’s all men- at ease" Why couldn’t girl get a more useful class in highschool or better yet how about a class that taught guys the logistics of what can please a girl. I mean I know some men think its rocket science, but its more like the science of putting the toilet seat down. While not rocket science still considered of the great mysteries of the world. In a parting thought I am sure everyone is thinking, its no wonder she is single.

Stay Tuned...............


At 3:08 PM, Blogger Shawn said...

OK, you've got my attention as I'm laughing my arse off! Not sure where you are meeting these men that are in such a rush to take off their clothes...but at least they're doing it with a smile! ;) Granted I have ZERO experience with guys taking their clothes off (VERY good thing for me) so all I can comment on is my own habits, not all of us are in a rush to beat you to their birthday suit!! LMAO Some of us out there really do still enjoy unwrapping a very special gift and like to savor each button or zipper. Don't write all of us off because of a few outcasts in your Tribe called Naked!!! Maybe if women would stop breeding with them they'll go the way of the Dodo bird.


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