It's Been A Long Time

Tap, tap, tap....... Because of Kate, I am writing here. Please all thank Kate for getting my ass in gear and updating this lagging blog. YAY Kate!!!

It's not that there is nothing to say because there is tons to say, but being the girl that I am, I am afraid to say it out loud for fear of jinxing it. A silly superstition but one that I have followed my entire dating life. Its hard to break yourself of these superstitions, once that gave you a reason for why something was happening instead of accepting that a) He just wasn't that in to you, b) You should be VERY HAPPY that it didn't work out, or c) he really was an asshole.

I find myself being over critical of signs that aren't there but I have no experience otherwise. At least I keep this kind of crazy to myself or my close circle of girlfriends. My mantra as of late has been, " Enjoy each day one at a time". If I don't I race ahead of myself and have an entire relationship and break up in the span of two minutes. Its quite the roller coaster ride. But he proves me wrong everyday and it makes me giddy with happiness.

Its a blessing and a curse to have these silly superstitions that are derived from being treated badly. Its a blessing because it has taught me exactly what I don't want and kept me from settling for mediocrity. Its a curse because my brain fights me every day as I try to believe that this is real and amazing and I deserve it. All I know is that its all I knew I wanted and even more than I knew I wanted.