Jello Trilogy- Part One

Back in my younger years ( ok fine, maybe about 2 or 3 years ago)I met a girl who liked my playboy shirt. Always a great start to any relationship, its built on porn. Ok not really, but that caught your eye didn't it. We will call this girl "Jello Girl", no she didn't have any special powers to control the mold and texture of Jello, talk about a useless power. Jello Girl, was a budding business woman, breaking out in to the cut throat world of promotional modeling. Ever seen a Budweiser Girl, well she looked like one of those girls. Gorgeous, cupid lips and a personality to boot. Hence the reason we met. Back in the day of my bad habits, I was outside having a cigarette, flirting with the bouncers (thats a whole other blog opportunity), and standing outside doing the same thing I was, minus the cigarette was, Jello Girl. We started chatting, having lost interest in the bouncers, and she filled me in on her business and the fact that she was on the hunt for new girls. She gave me a card and told I should really call her. Now I am just flattered, I didn't realize that the Playboy shirt worked on both sexes, interesting fact. I fiddled with the card and the idea of me as a promotional model for a few days. I was what you would call "late bloomer", I didn't really grow out of my ugly duckling stage until after I was in college and it took a serious intervention, Thank you BestFriend Tiff!!! But I digress.......

Back to the story at hand........So why not, what did I have to lose, right?? I called Jello Girl and away it goes. The first couple of times that I went out to hock jello shots, Jello Girl was with me to show me the ropes. A few simple rules applied, 1) Your tips depend on what you wear, some might find it demeaning but in my case as I always say I couldn't hide my " assets" with duct tape and burlap. So it really didn't matter what I wore, but there were a few tops that could accentuate the positive. 2) Glitter, and alot of it. The different colors and ways to apply it. Its kind of like looking thru a disco ball, really fun after a few drinks. 3) SMILE, even if it hurts. Now, the next step is to balance a tray of jello shots, with a cash box in one hand while moving thru a crowd packed tight with drunks. If that isn't multi tasking, I don't know what is. They defintely don't teach these skills in school. As I am babbling I am trying to remember the first club I was at......No luck, I remember the club later that night I went to as I ventured out on my own, The Velvet Lounge. So an hour at Club A to get the routine down and then off to the Velvet Lounge, to try my wings. That first night taught me alot of things; a) People seriously have an aversion to hermedically sealed plastic condiment containers filled with alcoholic jello. All I have to say is that these jello shots have nothing on the ones The BestFriend and I made ( note add equal parts water and vodka, equal parts vodka and vodka only lead to being very drunk in minutes.)b) No is not in the Drunk Dictionary, every girl needs to buy herself a copy. and c) Damn the money was nice.......

Keep your glasses ready for the next shot..............