There Is No Hope For Me

I have always been very honest about my girly tendencies. With that being said, this next little story will make you laugh.

Growing up I was quite the tomboy, playing with trucks, climbing trees and camping with my parents every summer. However somewhere along the way I managed to become re-wired. I blame it on the girls at the Benefit make-up counter in Pleasanton and Tiff. I went from wearing overalls and full coverage undies (I know you were dying to know that) to skirts, heels, and less coverage undies. As I shed this alter ego it also came with a few ultra girly side effects. As a tomboy, dirt was something you made mud pies out of, as a girly girl dirt was something you avoid at all cost and if you can’t, you complain (I never said they were good side effects). Another fun side effect was the strong dislike and border line fear of bugs and reptiles. I don’t remember really caring about the aforementioned creepy demons prior to the transformation, but now they are a big issue. Also having cats that hunt for creepy crawlies is a big issue too.

In my childhood home (I moved out at the age of 22) there was a plethora of alligator lizards, and my cats thought they had died and gone to hunting heaven. Every week they would bring in “presents” to the house and let these live presents loose. Mostly in my bedroom too. I always knew when they brought in a lizard because all 4 cats (which didn’t particularly like each other) would huddle next to each other watching this lizard trying to hide from them. Sort of like Masterpiece Theater for cats. I would then, upon discovery of them, would stand on my bed and yell for my dad, the savior of daughters and lizards alike. To give you an idea of how many times this happened, when I moved out I found a fossilized lizard in my closet. EWWWWW!!

However it goes farther than that. In Maui, Eva had warned me that I would have gecko’s on my windows at night, they were attracted by bugs when we had our lights on. I think it was on the first day that Tiff arrived, she was getting situated and I happened to look up and on our window (in broad daylight) was a tiny gecko. I immediately stand on the bed, now looking back this only made me closer to the gecko, and repeatedly told Tiff there was a gecko, knowing my less than warm feelings for all things reptiles (not including turtles, I think turtles are cute), Tiff tries to calm me by telling me that the gecko wants nothing to do with me. Also by naming him, she tries to make him cute. So we now name him Pablo, except we have concern number two, Pablo, was inside our room, not on the outside like I had originally thought. Tiff (the poor dear) has reassured me once again that Pablo doesn’t like the taste of human and prefers the bugs. Raising an eyebrow at her in skepticism and at Pablo to, I watched him closely for about 20 minutes, until I was distracted by something else entirely. Its really not that hard to do, its oohh shiny, and I am distracted. The only time you can’t distract me is when my nephews are around or anything to do with shoes or make-up. See I distracted myself from my own story.

Anywho, Pablo stayed with us for at least a day or so and then disappeared, I assume outside seeing as that is the only idea I am comfortable with. He really was only maybe an inch and a half long, but reptiles are reptiles regardless of size.