Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Sights and Sounds of the Gym

Michele and I trudge to the gym every morning around 7 am. With the weather getting colder more and more people are retreating inside for their exercise. With the flood of people at the gym now, its gives me plenty of ammunition for my blog. This morning for example, M and I were working out upper body, threatening to tickle each other and lob weights, just for the fun of it. Yes, its before I have had my coffee, all bets are off on maturity, just so you know. But I digress.... This guy walks up to the weight gym behind us (you know that structure that has like 6 different stations for different muscle group, and weight gym, is the techincal term)and I almost burst out laughing. Here is this guy standing at the tricep station in......short shorts!!! This is where I would like to address the dress code for the gym. Under no circumstances should men and even some women wear short shorts to the gym. If you bend over, I do not want to see something that could potentially scar me for life. And on that note, spandex should be outlawed everywhere. Just because its long enough, doesn't mean that the figure hugging material keeps any secrets. Its just wrong, it should be a federal offsense people. Or how about when the spandex is so tight that it forces the fat rolls over the top and the person committing this fashion eye sore wears a spandex shirt on the top too. Seriously, one look in the mirror should have told you all you needed to know about that outfit, ummmm NOOO!!!!

My second favorite sight at the gym this morning was this guy on ab work out bench, violently performing crunches. It seriously looked like he was having an epileptic fit, I almost got the front desk staff just in case. Doing the exercise more forceably doesn't increase its effectiveness, it only has potential to hurt really badly. How do you explain that to someone:

Person 1: What happened?

Abs Fit Guy: Oh, well.... I was doing my abs work out and managed to knock myself out on the foot rest. I was doing them kind of fast, ya know, to pump up my work out.

Person 1: (holding back laughter) Wow, that takes skill.

I have seen this guy more than once at the gym and everything he does is in a rapid violent nature. I would hate to see him on the treadmill.

Last but not least of the gems at the gym, the Grunter! You all know what I am talking about. That guy working out two benches down from you grunting like he is constipated while lifting weights. Is this really neccessary? Does it help them lift the weights more easily? Really, I want to know. What does grunting contribute....Its got to be something seeing as almost every guy at the gym does it. Its really distractng too, I always find myself looking over my shoulder in alarm. Like something horrible is happening. But to my relief, all seems to be ok. Nothing happening that shouldn't be.

I will keep you posted as to the other gems of the gym , when I see them.


At 12:53 PM, Blogger kate said...

Good for you for going to the gym so early every morning. Today was the first time I did that and I really enjoyed myself.

At 3:10 PM, Blogger Tiffany said...

Why do they even MAKE spandex above a size... oh let's say... 0?!? I mean really maybe if we took the temptation away people wouldn't wear it?

Or there should be some card-carrying requirement. Like you have to prove that you are a member of the Joffrey Ballet before you can buy it or something?


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