Friday, August 26, 2005

Public Service Announcement-I've Got Dollar Bills!!!

Yes its that time again for my ever so cleverly written diatribe about the other sex. Ok I just looked up diatribe as a descriptive word and its a little harsh. So I will revert back to satire, ah thats better. Thank you

Are you intrigued by my title, I hope so. I had forgotten this particular juicy story until I ran in to the victim the other weekend. So not only do you get to hear the about the original story but you also get to hear about the "encounter".

My back ground story will be shorter this time, I swear. Ok, so friend is getting married and what does every bride to be need?? NAKED MEN!!!! Its like some hazing ritual in to the sorority of wifehood. So the Sisters (my ever so wonderful gaggle of friends that are sisters to me), round up a little Bachelorette Party, because if the boys are doing it why can't we....

Up to the city we go since the Sisters found a male review. Now I have never been to a male strip club, so I had no idea what was in store for us. Let me just tell you, its a very hand on experience ;) Pun intended. But I think out of anyone I got way more of my monies worth than the rest of the Sisters. Sort of... This male review is how I met the victim of this blog. Stripper (his alias) was the MC and the last dancer of the evening. Let me tell you, I will never look at cops the same again. There defintely was a spark between and I don't mean when he was dancing. It was before he even took his clothes off. So the show finishes and we are all flushed from the excitement. My poor little heart could barely take it. ;) Yeah right, I loved every moment of it. We move in to the bar to carry out our second mission of the night, getting Bride drunk, the non sick kind of drunk. Stripper joins us for the evening after his show and proceeds to go into detail about the sexual spark between him and I. Now I was at a stage in my life were that sounds like heaven three fold: 1) hot hot hot stripper with great body wants to get his freak on with me, OK!! 2) No strings attached, none of the BS and all of the fun 3) Great story for the grandkids. YAY ME!! So I might have been a little premature on the excitement.

He sold me on this casual involvement (like I needed alot of convincing)and about a week after meeting him, I went to his place for dinner. He place was beautifully decorated, so much so that I started to have doubts about his sexual orientation. However my mind was put at ease when he "cooked" dinner. Why is it that cooking to a man involves pasta and sauce in a jar?? Sweet thought but no real effort. Thats ok I wasn't there for the food. So we finally get down the reason I am there, all the time a little " yay me, yay me" going thru my head. I am so telling the grandkids. Yay me, quickly turned in to " Are you kidding?!?!?". The first time with a new partner can be a little akward, so you chalk it up to that and sign up for the next round. In the mean time we chat on the phone almost every night, Hey, these feel like strings......

So round 2 approaches with a little less excitement and a little more wariness. But oh well, I was a girl scout, HA! No I wasn't. So I get to his place and right off he was in a bad mood, warning # 1 , and he proceeded to vent at length about the bad mood, warning #2, and closely followed by a I guess we should go in the bedroom warning #3, can you see where this is going.... Now I am an open minded girl when it comes to the extracuricular activies between the sheets as long as I feel comfortbale with my partner. What I hate....your partner in a hideous mood, hell bent on showing you who is boss in the most aggressive, degrading way possible. Needless to say I was walking to the door not long after it started.

I got two things out of this 1) Like I said before "great story", if you leave about the last tidbit I admitted to you guys 2) Ego boost, I mean he was at least hot 3) When approach with a proposition from a stripper, a little advice, his moves are on a dance floor, not in between the sheets. Do I dare say this is the end of my story..... noooooo.

Last weekend (I met Stripper in March) I ran in to Stripper while he was on a date. I almost hugged the girl and told her it wasn't worth getting cleaned up for. But I resisted, I mean who am I to rain on his parade*.

* It was my good deed for the day ;)

Stay Tuned................


At 9:41 AM, Blogger Tiffany said...

This story still makes me laugh and I was there for it!!


Post a Comment

<< Home