Birthday Suprises

For as long as I can remember Tiff has always given me the most thoughtful and creative gifts for my birthday. It seems to come effortlessly to her. I on the other hand feel like a lumbering oaf trying to figure out what I should get her, something to show that I can’t imagine my life without my BFF. As I am sure you have heard or experienced Tiff is somewhat of a culinary whiz, so I thought a cooking class would be just the thing for her. But here is the thing, I get so worked up that she may not like the gift, I bluntly ask (and this is every year) whether she would be interested in X. X this year was said cooking class. But being slightly ahead of the game (or so I thought) I asked Tiff early and only once. Then when I had decided on what class to take her to, I ask to reserve her for that day with no hint. Just a small list of criteria: close toed shoes, hair up, and comfy.

A few days before the cooking class, Tiff lets it slip that she thinks she knows what it is that we are doing. Knowing she is right, I ask her what she thinks it is. Side note- I am so not good at gift giving thing to the point that if the recipient asks me what I got them, I will tell them by accident. Example – a few years ago Tiff point blank asked me – in the middle of a completely unrelated conversation- what I got her for Xmas and without skipping a beat, I told her. But back to the story. She blurts out, “cooking class”. I proceed for the next few hours to tell Tiff what we are doing; of course it’s all a complete lie. But I had so much fun coming up with ideas of everything she would absolutely hate. Here is the list:

1) A reptile round up
2) Vin Diesel Fan club meeting
3) Glacier Climbing- equipped with private jet and the pilot was my sex slave so he wouldn’t be enticed to change flight plan.
4) Mime Interpretive Dance Troupe


I really stuck with the reptile round up and the hilarious part is, Tiff told her hypothetical boss what I was saying and his response, “ REALLY?!?!? The one in Sunnyvale?!?! With Reptile Wrestling?!?!” I could have hugged him within and inch of his life for that. I could imagine Tiff at her desk becoming paler by the minute. I couldn’t stop laughing at this. For all my joking I didn’t realize there was a local reptile round up.

Here is the conversation:

"you win
Boss says there actually is a reptile round up in Sunnyvale
:(
me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHA
Tiffany: with reptile wrestling even am scared now
me: and you thought I was lying
Tiffany: not coming to pick you up
me: I signed you up for the wrestling
Tiffany: am staying home with wine
me: LMAO
you are not
ok I love Boss
LMAO
ooohhh heeheehee
seriously that is the funniest thing I have heard all day
HAHAHAHAHAHAH
i don't know if I can stop laughing
Tiffany: :(
me: I signed you up for the boa wrestling
you can beat em
Tiffany: LOL
yeah
keep it up miss no working car
me: teeeheee
Tiffany: Only someone with sons would know that
me: i know"


She was happy when we pulled up in front of Sur La Table and not a corral of creepy reptiles.