Wednesday, June 29, 2005

This is a Hoot!!!

Your Sagittarius Drinking Style

In vino veritas -- and, for you, in booze blurtiness.
When battered, you'll spill all your friends' secrets and many of your own.
Tactlessness aside, you are just plain fun to drink with.

You are under the sign of serious partying (what else would you expect from the sign of Sinatra, Keith Richards, the Bush twins and Anna Nicole Smith)?
You're the person who chat up everyone in the room, then persuades the entire crowd to travel somewhere else -- like a nightclub, or a playground, or Cancun.
Good-natured hijinks are sure to ensue (including a high possibility of loopy groping; a spontaneous Sag like you is a brilliant booty call).
Your Signature Cocktails
A travel-loving sign, Sagittarius might be intrigued by drinks like Moscow mules, Singapore slings -- perhaps even a Long Island iced tea (not a bad option, given how much you can put away and still stay vertical). Party monster that you are, you're attracted to shots, like the ever-popular lemon drop. You rules pears, and you could use a nice pear cider right about now, come to think of it.
Your Celebrity Drinking Buddies
Britney Spears, The Bush twins, Margaret Cho, Lucy Liu, Brad Pitt, Anna Nicole Smith, Jay-Z, and Jake Gyllenhaal.

Anyone who drinks with me these days knows this couldn't be farther from the truth. Heheheheh

Southern at Heart?

Your Hippie Chick Name is: Magnolia

Monday, June 27, 2005

Public Service Announcment- Margaritaville

A pitcher of margarita and a baseball game starts off this little story. Ok really a phone call started it all. A quick piece of advice, always listen to your voice mails throughly. I received a voicemail from " The Marine", now I am sure you are already making assumptions. A Marine, they always have a reputation, or at least the ones I know. When I listened to the voicemail, I swear I heard come over a group of us are watching a baseball game and we are having margarita. I should have listened further to the message, because that would have given me an idea of what I was in for.
I am thinking baseball and margarita, what more could a girl ask for. Time to relax hang out and drink right? Well one margarita led to more than I can count and nature called like it usually does. I stumbled gracefully to the bathroom, like any drunk girl does. Business was done calling and I was trying to make it back to catch up on the game I was missing. Stumbling, gracefully I might add once again, down the hall, but this time something catches my eye. Keep in mind my vision sort of blurry at this point and all I see in The Marines, room is some thing flesh colored on his bed. I am thinking to myself, did he get a flesh colored body pillow?? Adjusting my glasses, I go to investigate, looks comfy and I am feeling a little tired.
Now imagine my surprise and I mean SURPRISE, to find that it isn’t an inviting flesh colored body pillow as I once thought. It is surprise, surprise, surprise, The Marine, naked in all his glory, if you can call it that. Now, The Marine and I have quite the history. At this point in time I had known him for 6 years. We had dated on and off in that 6 year period. So in that period of time sexual chemistry had built up. 6 years of sexual chemistry??????? Stand back everyone, two drunk people ( very drunk) with 6 years of pent up sexual chemistry? It can only end badly, very badly, ooooohhhh sooooo badly. Men have fragile egos, especially between the sheets. They pride themselves on their, ahem, abilities. Now we all know drunk men let their "skills" slide a little ( oh I am being so nice right now), and drunk girls lose sensation from the neck down. Can you see how this is going to end ???? Loose lips sinks ships right? Well loose lips ( loosen by a pitcher of margarita) also make other things sink too, if you catch my drift.

Stay Tuned............

Public Announcement- Tales from Sleepy Hollow

I have been lagging on my blogs. No engaging satire of the male species. No fear ladies, here is something to giggle at. Now I would definitely call myself a " Dater", someone who frequently subjects herself to a lot of first dates, and barely any second dates. I try to be open minded and not date with in a certain type. Now if you ask my friends, they will inform you that I am drawn to a certain type. But rarely does this type find themselves drawn to me. So you must think outside of the box.
Now you can do this in a number of way; going to bars, internet dating, thru mutual friends, the list goes on. Well true to my broad minded nature I was looking through the personal ads on Don’t ask me why, blame it on the box thinking. But that is how I met "Ichabod Crane". At first we communicated thru e-mail like any good children from the Internet Age. Then as progress would have it, ventured to phone conversation. When I found a southern lilt on the other end of the line, you can imagine my delight. Any girl ( I don’t care what you say) loves an accent. Southern, British, Spanish, Italian- They all leave your knees a little weak. Our conversation were entertaining enough and after a few we decided to meet in a bar in SF.
Meeting someone for the first time with only conversations to go on is a little distressing to say the least. Your mind creates a picture of what you think that person looks like, so can imagine my shock and surprise that when I came face to face with Ichabod Crane. I kid you not, you remember the Disney version of The Man from Sleepy Hollow, tall, lanky and the hook nose to boot. I mean really, couldn’t I have ended up with the Johhny Depp version. Drinks were short to say the least. You can not look at someone who makes you think he belongs in Disney cartoon.
We politely said goodbye to each other, knowing that we would not see each other again. So Ichabod and I went our separate ways, and I will always giggle a little when the Halloween favorite airs.
Stay Tuned................

Wednesday, June 22, 2005


Here's how it goes:Pick 5 of the following questions and then complete the sentences. Then pass it on to 3 more of your blog friends! (No tag backs allowed.)
If I could be a scientist?
If I could be a farmer?
If I could be a musician?
If I could be a doctor?
If I could be a painter?
If I could be a gardener?
If I could be a missionary?
If I could be a chef?
If I could be an architect?
If I could be a linguist?
If I could be a psychologist?
If I could be a librarian?
If I could be an athlete?
If I could be a lawyer?
If I could be an inn-keeper?
If I could be a professor?
If I could be a writer?
If I could be a llama-rider?
If I could be a bonnie pirate?
If I could be an astronaut?
If I could be a world famous blogger?
If I could be a justice on any one court in the world?
If I could be married to any current famous political figure?

I am curious that if this is analyzed, what it would say about me.

1.A Bonnie Pirate- The whole code of the sea, go wherever the wind takes you. And maybe with the sheer size of the ship I wouldn't get sea sick.

2.A lawyer- Minus the long hours, I am really good at arguing. I think I would look good in a suit and even have the sexy glasses to top it all off.

3. A linguist- Ah the ability to speak in mutilple languages. It would secure a good job as well as sound pretty hot. That and I could say nasty things to people and they wouldn't understand.

4. A professor- The young minds I could mold. HAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHA

5. A llama rider- I couldn't resist this one. Its just sounds like a great story to tell someone. Yeah, ( sniff) back in the day I was the best darn Llama rider, until that spitting accident.

Alright Tiff, you know have something to read.