Wednesday, November 29, 2006

In The Mean Time

There isn't a whole lot to report this week. I have been helping take care of my nephews since their Dad is on a business trip for the next two weeks and now that they are very mobile and chatter boxes, they are quite the handful. So tomorrow night I will be babysitting them. However a lot of fun things are coming up and I am sure that at least one blog worthy story will come out of it. Here is the Agenda:

Friday Night: Google Holiday Party with my friend Korianne. I am so excited, Google knows how to throw a party.

Saturday: Surprise Outing with BF Tiff for my birthday which is on Sunday. I am very curious, but Tiff is good at keeping a secret, so I have abolsutely no idea depsite my less than stellar attempts at finding out. I would not make a good spy.

Saturday Night:Dinner with Mom and then over to a local bar to help celebrates its 5th Anniversary.

Sunday Afternoon: I am being taken to the theater by Christine to see Edward Scissorhands, I am very intrigued. After that its anyone's guess.

I am looking forward to all the events and I promise to blog about them next week.

Monday, November 27, 2006

Accurate

I rarely ever listen to the radio however today I tuned in and heard a song that so accurately described my two very awful failed relationships. While I doubt that they miss me, the rest was dead on. Where was this song a few ( ok more than a few) years ago.


Stupid Boy by Keith Urban


well she was precious like a flower
she grew wild, wild but innocent
a perfect prayer in a desperate hour
she was everything beautiful and different
stupid boy... you can't fence that in
stupid boy... it's like holdin' back the wind

chorus:
she laid her heart and soul right in your hands
and you stole her every dream and you crushed her plans
she never even knew she had a choice
and that's what happens when the only voice
she hears is telling her she can't
stupid boy
stupid boy

so what makes you think you could take a life
and just push it, push it around
i guess to build yourself up so high
you had to take her and break her down
well...

chorus:
she laid her heart and soul right in your hands
and you stole her every dream and you crushed her plans
she never even knew she had a choice
and that's what happens when the only voice
she hears is telling her she can't
stupid boy
stupid boy

you stupid boy
you always had to be right
and now you lost the only thing that ever made you feel alive

chorus:
she laid her heart and soul right in your hands
and you stole her every dream and you crushed her plans
she never even knew she had a choice
and that's what happens when the only voice
she hears is telling her she can't
stupid boy
stupid boy

you stupid boy
oh, i'm the same old, same old stupid boy
it took a while for her to figure out she could run
but when she did, she was long gone, long gone



I am not writing this to gain sympathy or to be told when the time is right it will happen. I am showing you this because it is the closest thing I have ever read to describe what my relationships were like.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Thanksgiving Spirit

Every once in awhile its nice to be reminded that there are strangers out there with kindness in their hearts.

This morning, Thanksgiving Day morning, I had to go to the grocery store. Its like one of my biggest fears, the grocery store near or on a holiday. Its always sheer hell. But I put my game face on and dove in. Surprisingly its was very quiet, soooo thankful. Zipping around buying all the supplies for my dessert, I of course forgot a few things. Into the grocery store I went to get the few items that I had forgotten, of course while standing in line the cashier was speaking with another client, it triggered the final ingredient. Of course it is the same ingredient that the other customer happened to be looking for. So I trudged over, following the cashier and other customer, hoping there would be one for me. As luck would have it there was only one box of cookies that I and the other customer was looking for. Here is where the Thanksgiving Spirit comes in, yes its taken me awhile. Instead of the other customer shrugging her shoulders, she offers me half of the box of gingersnaps. Initially I declined thinking that oh well, I will just do without. However the customer insists and declines any payment. Her only question was, "what was I making?". It turns out that she and I were making the same desserts. It defintely made my morning and put a smile on my face.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Progress

Since I took a stand, I thought that maybe reporting on the results would help keep me accountable and motivated.

Starting last Thursday, I went to the gym Thursday and Friday, hiking in the Saratoga Hills Saturday, and walking for 3.5 hours at the local flea market on Sunday. This week I went to the gym last night (it's only Monday give me a break)and help rescue my mom's dog from the evil chicken wire fence (I will fill you in in a minute). This morning in a panic of what to wear ( my usual state of mind every morning, a closet full of clothes with nothing to wear) I reached for a pair of slacks that I was SURE wouldn't fit. But I risked the disappointment anyway and TADAAAAA the fit better than they have in the past 9 months. I am elated that I am already seeing results, not that I have stepped on a scale mind you, I am not insane. It felt great to do the pants up with ease. :D


Ok back to the rescue story. Last night my mom calls at like 8:30pm, I know this can't be a good thing because she is usually in bed at this point. She tells me one of her dogs has run off and she can't find him anywhere. After repeated offers to come over with a flash light and help she finally agrees and I am really glad she did. I took our other dog Rosie out in to the back year ( we have 1/3 of a acre so there are lots of places to get out) and ask her where "bad dog" is. She races down the path in to pitch black darkness, I am holding my police mag light firm in my hands in case I come across anything more than one of our cats. Well Lassie, Rosie is not but I did find our other dog Fonzie, affectionately also known as The Idiot, the S hook in his collar had gotten snagged on a roll of old chicken wire fencing that had, as he had tried to get away, stuck on a small stump making him immobile. The poor dog never whined while I was calling out or barked. Had I not gone out in the back to look for where he may have escaped from he would have been there all night :(. Funny though our cats and dogs love each other, its a weird phenomenom in my life. One of the cats we have ( there are 4 total) was sitting a few feet away from Fonzie keeping him company. Its was so cute and endearing.

So that was my adventure last night. Such a rivoting life I lead.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

While most people got dressed up and partied for Halloween on Saturday BFTiff , TheBoy (hers, I don’t have one), and I went out and partied our little Halloween asses off on a Sunday night. YEAH, we roll like that. We went to a local country bar that was giving free cover if you dressed up. Being completely unprepared for Halloween this year, I had to made do with what I had on hand.

A few years ago I was in a wedding with what I still consider a slightly hideous dress, something that is completely not my style, but I wore and held on to it think that some day it would come in handy. And boy did it ever...........




Look I am Donna Reed and BFTiff as Sexy Sheriff.


TheBoy is beer, well he drinks enough of it. You are what you drink.



We had a great time or at least I can say I did. Two older gentlemen flattered me by constantly asking me to dance. They twirled me around the floor like I was on Dancing with the Stars. I swear the 4 shots of Southern Comfort and 3 beers helped my rhythm and my partners toes were all intact.

Taking a Stand

Have you ever noticed that it’s much easier to complain about what we don’t like about ourselves, where we live, our jobs, people in our lives, then actually doing something about it? But it does nothing to rectify the situation. I know I am guilty of it. I complain about my weight and lack of gym motivation but you know what no one but me is going to change that. No one is going to come, pick me up from my house, drive me to the gym, and put me thru the riggers of a work out. Unless of course I pay them a lot and really I don’t have the kind of money. Some days I wish I did.

That got me thinking though about how if I want something to be different in my life I need to go out and do it. No one is going to do it for me. I am an adult despite the occasional tantrum and it’s all a part of growing up and being responsible. And some days it sucks being responsible but you know what, unless I want to end up a bum in the street or independently wealthy, the responsibility isn’t going to go away. Its life, suck it up and face it like the intelligent, independent, and accomplished woman that I am. I need to stop acting like a petulant child, making passive aggressive digs, and change what makes me unhappy. I am the only one in control of my happiness. So here is what I am going to do about it:

- Go to the gym at least 4 times a weeks, whether it’s the morning or evening. If it means I will be late to something, oh well, no one will die.
- I am going to start taking classes in a field that I find interesting. Either Interior design or travel. I will find a way whether it takes me a year or ten years.
- I am going to pursue a hobby and one that doesn’t consist of me sitting on my ass. Maybe photography….

I am sure over the course of my life I will come up with more. But it’s at least a start.

I urge all of my RF’s and IIF’s to take on something that makes you unhappy. Start small, you would be surprised how even the smallest change can make you feel better. Tell me what you are going to take on, I would love to hear about it.